How to Stop Overthinking About Your Relationship – Learn Expert Tips to Reduce Your Relationship Anxiety.
Your Mind Can Be Your Worst Enemy in a Relationship, Especially in a New Relationship. Although Doubts Indicate Real Problems in Any Relationship, Many Times They Are Irrational and Based on Fear and Trauma From Past Experiences Rather Than Reality. You Can Start Looking for Clues in Your Partner’s Texts or Look at Every Word He or She Says to Determine the Deeper Meaning. You May Be Wondering Whether You Spend Enough Time or Too Much. If She Left Early in the Morning After Sleeping in, Did She Really Have to Go to Work Early? You Might Be Driving Yourself Crazy Trying to Figure It All Out.
We Turned to Gabriel Brenner, a Relationship and Dating Expert, to Help You Tell the Difference and Learn How to Avoid Overanalyzing. With His Wife, He Co-authors a Blog That Helps People Find and Keep Love. Comfortingly, He Tells Us That It’s Normal for Your Mind to Wander When Experiencing New Love. “There Are Countless Things That People Can End Up in a Relationship,” He Says. Read on to Know More.
Why You Might Be Thinking About a Relationship
There Are Many Reasons Why This Could Be the Case. If You’ve Been Hurt or Betrayed in a Past Relationship, You May Be Afraid That It Will Happen Again—and That’s Completely Natural. Especially in the Beginning of a Relationship, You May Find It Difficult to Trust That Your New Partner is on the Same Page as You.
“Common Concerns Include Over-analyzing Your Partner’s Behavior to Determine if They Love You,” Says Brenner. “People Understandably Have a Fear of Being Abandoned and Unloved, but Sometimes Emotions Get Out of Hand, and Relapse Becomes a Vicious Cycle.” if You’ve Been Disappointed in the Past, It’s an Understandable Concern.
Brenner Says She’s Also Noticed That People Tend to Overthink a Relationship Because They’re Afraid of How the Outside World Will View It. “There’s a Lot of Thinking About What Friends, Co-workers, and Family Think of Your Relationship,” He Explains. This May Be True if You’re Dating Someone Who Doesn’t “Fit the Mold” of What Some People Around You Think of You as an Ideal Partner. Keep in Mind That Ultimately, What Matters Most is How You Feel.
10 Ways to Stop Your Relationship From Ruining
Even if You Are Subconsciously Considering a Relationship to Protect Yourself, the Obsession Can Spiral Out of Control and Ultimately Do More Harm Than Good to Your Mental Well-being. Some Partners Develop Anxiety Problems or Become So Nervous That It Eventually Pushes Their Partner Away. The Good News is That There Are Ways to Calm Your Mind. Read on to Learn 10 Tried-and-true Methods Recommended by an Expert.
Find an Empathetic Audience
Because Excessive Thinking Comes From Deep Fear, You Need People Around You Who Understand and Can Give You Empathy and Compassion. The More Insight You Gain, the More Validated You Will Feel, and Your Anxiety May Go Away. Share Your Obsessive Thoughts With a Trusted Family Member or Friend. “Taking an Emotional Angle With Understanding and Empathy Will Help the Person Verbalize and Express Their Underlying Feelings and Fears,” Says Brenner.
Don’t Try to Convince Yourself to Stop Overthinking
Whatever You Do, Don’t Try to Persuade Yourself to Stop Overthinking, Especially by Embarrassing Yourself or Putting Yourself Down in Any Way. Not Only Will This Not Help, but Brenner also Says, It Will Make It Worse. “It is Important to Note That Excessive Thinking Often Stems From Emotional Concerns Rather Than Rational Ones. So Trying to Approach an Emotional Problem With Pure Rationality Often Backfires and Leaves the Person Over-thinking.” and Isolates Himself Further,” He Explains. “Don’t Try to Convince Yourself to Stop Overthinking.”
Talk to Your Partner
Talking to Your Partner About Your Fears and Anxieties Can Be Scary, Especially if You’re in a New Relationship. You Don’t Want to Drive This Person Away or Come Across as Unstable. But Remember That a Relationship is Based on Understanding and Trust, and You Need Someone With You Who Will Accept You – Even When You’re Vulnerable. Try Talking to Your Partner and See What Happens, Says Brenner: “Talk to Your Partner [about Your Thoughts], Even if They’re Irrational or Overblown.” if He is Sympathetic to You Then It is a Good Sign for Your Future and You Can Feel More Confident to Move Forward.
Get to the Bottom of Your Feelings
Overthinking Doesn’t Come Suddenly; There Are Reasons for This. Try to Get to the Bottom of Why You Are Thinking About This Relationship. Do You Still Need to Heal From Past Trauma? Did Your Parents Leave You? Consulting a Counselor or Therapist Can Be Helpful During This Process. Once You Identify the Root of Your Fear and Emotion, You Can Address the Problem at the Source.
Focus on the Present
The Tendency to Relapse Often Comes From Anxiety That Isn’t Necessarily Based in Reality – Meaning You’re Not Obsessing Because Something is Wrong With Your Current Relationship; It May Simply Be a Symptom of a Deeper, More Personal Trauma. So When You Feel Your Mind Wandering, Try to Bring Yourself Back to the Present Moment. Take a Deep Breath and Focus on What You Know to Be True About Relationships.
Make a Gratitude List
It Can Be Helpful to Look at All the Positive Things Happening in Your Relationship. Every Day, Whether It’s Before You Go to Bed or on Your Lunch Break, List All the Things That Are Going Well and That You Are Grateful for in Your Partnership. Instead of Thinking Like, “He Didn’t Text Me Every Hour,” You Would Change Your Mindset to, “He Texted Me Three Times Today.” Positive Thinking Can Go a Long Way.
Sweat It Out
Exercise is a Scientifically Proven Way to Reduce Anxiety and Keep Your Mind Clear and Focused. If You Find Yourself Obsessing Over Every Detail of Your Relationship, Try Taking a Break and Going for a Brisk Walk or Trying an Exercise Class.
To Pay Attention
Meditation is a Proven Way to Reduce Anxiety. Join a Meditation Class or Use a Mindfulness App at Home. This Can Help You Feel More Centered and Allow You to More Easily Focus on Positive Feelings of Faith and Love Instead of Nerves and Doubt.
Write Your Feelings
Often, People Experiencing Anxiety Find That Writing Down Their Intrusive or Obsessive Thoughts Helps Them Move Away. Try Journaling, or Try Writing a Letter to Your Partner That You Don’t Really Send.
Use the Power of Your Mind In Relationship
Only You Have the Ability to Change Your Mind, and You Don’t Have to Allow Your Thoughts to Control Your Feelings. If You Find Yourself Thinking Excessively About Elements of Your Relationship, Try “Changing the Channel” Like on Television. Tell Yourself, “I’m Going to Think About Work or My Friends or a Really Fun Weekend Instead of This Irrational Fear.” if You Learn to Harness the Power of Your Mind and Thought Process, You Will Allow Yourself to Move Forward With Clarity and Confidence.