Have you ever found yourself wondering, does he love me? You are far from alone. Not only do I have personal experience wondering this in various relationships over the years, but my research shows that thousands of us ask the same question every single month. Questions like these–

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Show that we women are thinking about these questions.

And there is nothing surprising in this. Love is the greatest treasure of life, which we all sincerely seek. Love is wonderful, and we all want it.

If you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, you’ve undoubtedly questioned your partner’s feelings for you. Hopefully, the two of you have open communication, plenty of trusts, and a strong foundation, but these things take time to build. Even after you and your partner have exchanged the three magic words – “I love you” – you may still find that you don’t believe that love exists. This post is for you.


Young couple sitting at a table on a date in a coffee shop while drinking coffee. A croissant is on a plate in front of them.

First of all, I’m sorry you feel that way, but I completely understand. Not being sure of your significant other’s love is scary and confusing.

For a long time, I looked for signs that my husband Nathan loved me but still couldn’t believe them. It was a painful anxiety that I faced, but I was able to overcome it and completely recovered from that anxiety. If this sounds like you, I encourage you to read my post on how to overcome the need for trust in relationships.

“Does he love you” or “Does he still love me” is a question that can arise at any point in a relationship. For most people reading this, this is probably near the beginning of your relationship. Maybe you’ve been dating for a few months and are wondering if love is really brewing between the two of you. Or maybe you’ve been together for a few years and you fear that your love may fade away. I think you will find this article helpful, but we have other resources on the site that you may also find helpful. Some of these can be especially helpful if you’re in a long-term relationship and are struggling.

We’re not each other’s soulmates and that’s okay

(A post talking about why ideas like soulmates and “the one” may not be true or healthy)

26 Relationship Myths You May Still Be Believing

8 REAL relationship goals worth trying

Relationship Advice for Couples: 12 Principles for Lasting Relationships

9 Signs You’re With The Wrong Person

signs he wants to marry you

more than words

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that love is more an action than anything else. I repeat it again for those behind:

Love is an action, more than anything.

Words are certainly very powerful – and I firmly believe that couples should share their love in words daily – but actions are even more powerful. Because actions support what you’re saying with evidence. A man who loves you will show it in how he treats you and what he does.

You’ll notice that, of the 10 signs he loves you I’ve compiled below, I haven’t included “because he says so”. Anyone can say words, but those who follow them with real deeds are the ones who truly demonstrate love.

At the beginning of your relationship, your partner may be slow to even say words. That doesn’t mean there isn’t love. This may mean that your partner is very careful with these words and does not take them lightly. It could mean that he has some concerns about the relationship and is afraid to tell you. These are normal ways to feel, and you probably feel the same way yourself.

Love is a big thing. Saying “I love you” is a big deal. There is no need to rush it.

If you’re still waiting to hear these words, you’ll probably want to be patient. How long you are willing to wait is up to you. It took seven months for Nathan to say this back into our relationship. I was patient. And oh, it was worth it!

Of course, if you’re still waiting or wondering, the following 10 signs may allay your fears.



This is not meant to be a comprehensive list. Love is complicated, and everyone expresses love in different ways. But, one thing’s for sure: If your partner is making an effort, it’s a good sign. Giving love, being a better person, and having a successful relationship take effort.

Ultimately, the effort is also a sign of emotional maturity. So the following signs represent not only love but also the ability and desire to have a successful relationship.



Respect and love go hand in hand. Respect in itself may not be an obvious sign of romantic love, but it should always be present in a loving relationship.

If your partner shows respect for you: your choices, your time, your body, your thoughts, it could be a sign that he values you as more than just a friend.

A man can show respect in many ways. For example, I feel most honored when I am listened to. It makes me feel very honored when my partner listens to me and is willing to pay attention to my problems or even my general thoughts. It makes me feel that I matter to him and that my thoughts and feelings have value.

He puts you first.

One of the signs a man is in love with you is when he often puts you first. In fact, this could be one of the deepest signs that he really is in love with you. Putting another person’s needs and happiness first is truly an act of love and selflessness. This is something we must do all the time in our relationship, and truth be told it can be very difficult.

If your partner does this for you, whether it’s taking care of you when you’re sick, going above and beyond to help you in some way, or setting aside your own needs to do something for you, so it’s a strong one. Indicate that love exists.

Read next: What a husband needs from his wife What a wife needs from her husband

He makes time for you and makes you a priority.

By the same token, a good sign of love is when your partner consistently makes time for you. You must be confident that you are a priority in his life and his schedule – not an afterthought.

A loving partner will work hard to include you in their daily/weekly life, even when it is uncomfortable or challenging. He might stop by for date night, meet you on the way to work or class, or call you incessantly throughout the evening. These signs of effort are important and show that he cares about you and that you are an important part of his life.

He tries to fix relationship problems or change his behavior for the better.

Every relationship will face its share of challenges and problems. Conflict is a normal part of life and a very common element in human relationships. What matters is how you both handle this conflict.

How does your partner deal with relationship issues? Does he constantly push them aside and avoid dealing with them? Maybe he won’t admit it when there is a problem? Or maybe he isn’t ready to change any of his behavior.

Sure, it can be a sign of emotional immaturity, but it can also be a sign that this is not a relationship built on love.

A loving partner will make efforts to strengthen and improve the relationship. He is willing to discuss these issues with you. He will be willing to change his behavior for the betterment of the relationship.

He shows you his vulnerable side.

One sign that a man is in love with you is that he lets you see your vulnerability once in a while. He lets you go beyond the outer barrier.

This is certainly difficult for many men. In general, men aren’t nearly as in touch with their feelings as women, and they certainly aren’t as comfortable sharing them.

But a man who loves you is more likely to give you glimpses into this vulnerable core. It’s likely to be a slow process, but when you see signs that he’s into you, it can be a good sign that love is blossoming.

His interest in you is not just sexual.

This is the big one. Has your significant other indicated to you that they are interested in what you have to offer outside of the bedroom? Relationships often start with a lot of passion and enthusiasm, but this should not be confused with real, true love. While this can certainly be part of it, love usually kicks in later, as the initial high begins to fade. That initial, passionate physical connection that many couples experience cannot be called love yet, but it can be called lust.

Do the feelings and loving actions continue beyond that initial spark? Is there more to your relationship than the physical?

Is your partner doing more than the minimum, or is he doing just enough to get you in bed?

These are questions worth probing. When love truly exists, the relationship is more than just a physical one.

Ah, the future. It can be a scary topic for many couples, and my experience in my 20s showed me that the topic especially scares twenty-somethings!

But one of the signs that they are in love with you is that these conversations are worth having in subtle ways as well.

Now, your boyfriend of a few months might not be ready to talk about marriage and kids. But someone who loves you (or is on the way to loving you) will include you in their plans for the future.

This could be a subtle mention. maybe he talks about the holidays

He doesn’t love me – what should I do?

So you’ve read all the signs above and very few apply to your partner. Maybe none apply. Does this mean he doesn’t love you? not necessary

If you’re not sure about your partner’s feelings, the best way to get your answer is to simply ask them. This may not be easy if it’s too early in a relationship, but after being together for a few months, you should definitely have an honest conversation about your feelings for each other and where the relationship may or may not be going. May go.

Communicating with your partner can be very enlightening. If he isn’t showing the above signs, such a conversation could potentially wake him up and let him know he’s getting lethargic. The relationship is a skill. If he wants to, a partner who is willing to try can become a better, more loving partner. In all honesty, we could all be capable of being more loving in our relationships. I wouldn’t be surprised if you see some of the advice in the above tips on how to make your partner love you.

What if your partner won’t say I love you?

This is a difficult situation. If it’s been months or years and your partner doesn’t or can’t say I love you, you may need to make a decision. How important is it to you to hear these words? For me (and probably for most of us) it is absolutely necessary. My primary love language is “words of affirmation”. I feel most loved when my husband says he loves me or says other words of love and affection. Without it, I wouldn’t feel fulfilled and happy in a relationship.

If you feel like this then you should talk to your partner about it. It’s okay to be patient – for a while – but after spending a lot of time together, I believe he should be able to express his love for you in no uncertain terms.

What if he doesn’t love me?

If it turns out that your partner doesn’t love you – he won’t say it or show it – my heart goes out to you. Finding someone you don’t love is heartbreaking. I had my own experience where my boyfriend was cheating on me for many years and doesn’t love me anymore. You can read my story below, as well as my best advice for getting over a broken heart. It is not easy and takes a long time, but healing is possible and there is often something on the other side.

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