I’m sure you’ve heard this saying before: Communication is the key to any relationship. It sounds cliché but it’s true. I think it is very easy to tell people that communication is important in a healthy relationship, but it is not so easy to explain how to communicate. And if we are never taught how to use this key, we will never open the door to healthy communication.
Communication has been defined as many things but my favorite definition includes, “the successful communication or sharing of ideas and feelings”. I always say that I am a good talker, but to be a good communicator, I need to be a good listener too. Communication is expressing yourself in a healthy way, listening to your partner when they are doing so, and really listening and absorbing what the other person has to say.
Below are the Best 5 tips for communicating better in your relationship:
1. Ask Open-Ended Questions
Communication doesn’t just mean talking about each other’s day and lunch. It’s about being able to dig deep and get to know this person as best you can. Digging deep isn’t always easy, especially for those who have never been comfortable talking about their feelings. And it is not necessary that every conversation should be heart-to-heart.
There are ways to do this without putting pressure on your SO. To reveal your deepest secrets. For example, instead of asking yes or no questions like “Did you have a nice day?” Try asking more open-ended questions, such as “How was your day?” Yes, they may respond with a short no-answer (“good”, “okay”, “same”), but asking open-ended questions gives them the opportunity to share more if they want to. Remember that not everyone opens up very easily. Be patient with your partner if they are not sharing all the time. We set boundaries around our feelings and everyone’s boundaries are different. So, be aware of and respect their emotional boundaries, and they should consider and respect yours equally.
After all, the more you love your SO. On a deeper level, you can be as open and honest with each other as you are. And honesty breeds trust, two very important pillars of a healthy relationship (hint: communication is another very important pillar!).
2. Pick Up on Nonverbal Cues
If your partner says “I’ve had a nice day” but seems irritated, upset, or angry, there may be something else they’re feeling but not yet ready to communicate. Communication is not just about the words we say, but also how we say them. Our tone and our attitude express much more than the words that come out of our mouths. And being able to pick up on those non-verbal cues is honestly a skill. It is yours. Listen to their facial expressions, their hands (are they shaking/walking?), their body language (are they making eye contact? Are they crossing their arms?) and their tone of voice Listen
3. Don’t Try to Read Their Mind
Sometimes you can tell what someone is feeling just by looking at them. It’s not always easy to do and let’s face it: as much as we want to be mind readers, we are not and should not be. So, if you’re not sure what your partner is feeling, ask them.
If you tend to hold things in and expect your partner to read your mind, take a moment to appreciate the fact that your partner is going through a problem by asking you instead of ignoring it. Do your best to tell them how you feel when you’re ready to open up about it. It’s not healthy to say you’re fine when you’re not and then get angry at your partner for not understanding it. Be honest about how you feel to the best of your ability, and in a healthy way, before it gets to the point where it flares up and someone says something they regret. Try expressing yourself Being direct is always better than being passive-aggressive.
If your partner is the one who is guilty of being passive-aggressive, try telling them that it isn’t really helpful to either of you when they aren’t honest about how they feel. Sure, when we know each other so well that we can practically read each other’s thoughts and know what to say at the right time, but we’re human and we’re all different. Can sometimes make mistakes or miss clues that seem obvious. our partner or vice versa. It is important that both of you try to understand each other better and be patient with each other.
4. Conversations are a Two-Way Street
When you talk to your partner, notice how often you say “I”, “you”, or “we”. If the conversation is mostly about you, it’s not really a conversation. Send this to your SO. Remember to take turns and ask questions about how they feel, what their thoughts are, and what is happening to them. If you think you’re saying “you” too much, what’s the context? Are you pointing fingers and blaming?
Relationships are about both people, and everyone should have an equal say in things. Both people should feel heard and be able to share what’s on their minds. If you feel like your partner is taking over the conversation and you can’t get a word in, it’s important that you tell them. They may not be aware that they are dominating the conversation. A conversation is like a tennis match; It should naturally flow back and forth for each person.
5. Set Aside Time to Talk
My partner and I recently got together and we were warned by practically everyone that this is a “make it or break it” situation for couples. We were nervous, but we were both proud of the ‘we got it’ attitude. We’ve always been good at communicating openly and honestly with each other. We didn’t know how living together would change the way we communicate, but it certainly did.
During the first three weeks together, we quarreled constantly. We were so nervous about arguing (instead of what we were actually arguing about), that we started arguing about the fact that we were arguing! Still, have a headache? Yep, we had one for about three weeks. Since we are not that couple, we finally sat down and talked about it.
We had to learn a whole new way of being with each other because we were now sharing the same space. We talked about things that matter (like how to spend our money) and things that ultimately don’t matter (who takes out the trash). It was important to talk about those things because if we didn’t sit down to discuss them we would never know what really mattered to the other person.
Eventually, we learned that none of our fights were about the real things we were fighting about, but were not being heard or appreciated. Since that day, we have decided to hold a “bye”, a weekly ‘session’ where we set aside an hour to speak our minds in a judgment-free space. It allows us to feel heard and respected.
Obviously, our hour-long “Buy Sesh” may not work for everyone, but it certainly worked for us. We’ve been able to avoid major conflicts, actively listen to each other and feel closer to each other because of our bae sessions. We can talk every day, but we’re both so busy with work and life that it’s nice to make time for some deep work.
6. Tell Them What You Need From Them
Sometimes I want to feel validated by supporting my partner by saying, “Yeah, this really hurts, I’m sorry!” Other times, I need advice. Like I said earlier, neither of us is a mind reader, so it’s important that you try to keep your partner informed so that you’re on the same page. Saying something in advance like, “I need to vent right now and I’m not looking for advice, just your support,” or, “I need your advice in this situation,” will let them know What are you doing. moment
Being direct about what you need can reduce some of the miscommunication or even tension in a particular situation. By telling them ahead of time, we can prevent unnecessary disagreements caused by miscommunication.
Communication is a Skill
After all, communication is a skill, which means there’s always room for improvement. Work with your partner to figure out how you can maintain healthy communication and stay on the same page. Be as honest, direct, kind, and considerate as possible. Whether it be with bae sesh, or making a big effort to open up to each other.
Relationships may be complicated but relationship advice doesn’t have to be. Learn more about healthy relationships and take the pledge to #LoveBetter.
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I am Seema Rai working in blog industry since 4 years and I am expert in writing articles and I am such an expert and I work for publishing articles in many websites and news websites