11 Signs of Love Hate Relationship: Understand Your Emotions

11 signs of a love-hate relationship: understand your feelings
Recognize 11 signs of a love-hate relationship to assess the flow of your love relationship. Also, explore the following tips to manage your emotions effectively.

No doubt relationships are complicated! From different love languages to different expectations – everyone is different in their own way, and the way of expressing feelings is also different. You can see couples who feel deeply in love and happy one moment and spoiled the next. Well, this is a symptom of a toxic love-hate relationship.

11 Signs of Love Hate Relationship: Understand Your Emotions
11 Signs of Love Hate Relationship: Understand Your Emotions

Such a relationship often has a rollercoaster ride of emotions. Simply put, two partners in a relationship simultaneously feels extreme feelings of love and hate. Instead of living on a stable graph of emotions, their relationship is always on the verge of ups and downs and they periodically feel excited and tired.

Unhealthy relationships can arise from a troubled past, feeling unworthy of love, or having negative thoughts about yourself. Several factors can contribute to this type of relationship becoming unstable and difficult. These uncertainties can gradually weigh on the mental health of both partners if they continue for a long time. Thus, recognizing the signs of an uncertain relationship is very important.

If you and your partner are experiencing incompatible feelings in your relationship, check out these top 11 signs of a love-hate relationship before moving to any conclusions. These signs will help you decide the nature of your relationship. Scroll down to read more.

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1. Emotional Rollercoaster Ride

 Love hate relationship

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Highly conflicting feelings are the clearest sign of a love-hate relationship. Couples feel fluctuating feelings towards their partner all the time. Let’s understand this from one of the simple and easy love-hate relationship examples. Consider this scenario: you know someone who has shared photos of themselves with their partner on social media, and they have been boasting about their partner’s caring, loving, gentle, and understanding nature. However, shortly after, the same person approached you and expressed negative feelings toward your partner, calling him immature and stupid. Later that night, he posted another adorable photo of the two of them with a romantic caption.

This happens when you are swinging between your emotions. If you are seeing this in your relationship, being a little conscious of your feelings can help you avoid many troubles and sorrows in the later phase of a love-hate relationship. Some couples passively accept love-hate relationship psychology, and they think the drama will eventually bring them closer. In fact, these sequences of random feelings only lead to an extremely toxic relationship.

2. Feeling Irritated

 Love hate relationship

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Yet another important indicator of a love-hate relationship is that most of their habits annoy you. It can cover a variety of issues, ranging from bad temper and negative attitude to lack of understanding. These things may seem minor from the outside, but they can be a big turn-off for you. It can even affect your mental health, making you doubt your decision to stay in a committed relationship with your partner. Moreover, when you cannot find solutions to such problems, you emotionally distance yourself, and you begin to feel hatred towards each other.

3. Frequent Break-Ups and Patch-Ups

 Love hate relationship

Constant break-ups and patch-up situations define a love-hate relationship. You can see couples who are in the See-Saw of this relationship. When they argue or fight, they decide to end their relationship, but the very next day they act friendly towards each other as if the fight never happened. When you start hating someone you love in these situations, you experience a lot of confusion and hurt. This kind of break-up and patch-up cycle indicates that you both have past unresolved issues that need to be resolved. Talking about these conflicts can strengthen your bond and connection.

Another clear indicator of a love-hate relationship is when you begin to romanticize your arguments and quarrels. Sure, it’s part and parcel of a relationship, but romanticizing disputes can hurt the dynamics of a healthy relationship.

4. Uncertainty in Relationship Trajectory

Every couple has a basic understanding of their relationship. Even though the relationship is not in a serious phase, both partners are deeply aware of it, and they both have a similar feelings about where it is going. But when you are in a love-hate relationship, analyzing the relationship situation becomes extremely difficult. And because of the confusing feelings, it is very clear. How can you handle the ups and downs of a relationship if you can’t even understand your feelings?

If partners are unsure of their relationship and fear a possible break-up, this is not a healthy relationship. This is not a desirable situation. Many people like to plan romantic things with their partner as they go through different stages of their relationship. They are eager to see what their future as a couple will be. However, if your relationship is going through difficult times, communicating openly and honestly with your partner is important. Talk to them about your plans for the relationship and ask about them. Even if you have not known everything, you can still make a rough plan together. It can help you both move towards a healthy, happy relationship.

5. Poor Boundaries

 Love hate relationship

In a love-hate relationship, hatred arises from bad boundaries. Invading each other’s personal space, making decisions for each other, and pointing out each other’s flaws are all signs of a lack of respect in a relationship. And when this happens, conflicts, disputes, and quarrels increase over time. Such actions lead to frustration and ultimately partners want to offend each other’s egos. If you often find yourself or your partner invading each other’s private spaces, this is a sign that your relationship is toxic.

Certain qualities are essential for a long-lasting relationship, including respect and respect for each other’s boundaries. No relationship or relationship can last if it does not have these essential qualities. A conflict of hate and love arise when partners are unwilling to give each other breathing space.

6. Seeking Perfection

 Love hate relationship

Not being able to accept each other’s flaws is another important factor that can create hatred in love relationships. A lot of people are always looking for perfection in their partners and for this reason they start giving them unsolicited advice. When they realize that their partner is not obeying them, a sense of resentment arises within them. Initially, such an attitude may not seem like a burden, but gradually it disrupts emotional engagement. And when partners are not emotionally attached to each other, running the relationship long becomes extremely challenging.

Additionally, it turns into a relationship based on conditions. This means that if one partner does what the other wants, that partner receives love and affection. However, when that partner fails to obey the other’s wishes, they are met with feelings of hostility and anger. If this is the case in your relationship, it’s important to help your partner understand that everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. Love should never be conditional.

7.  Vague Communication

 Love hate relationship

A love-hate relationship is mostly manifested by ambiguous communication. Misunderstandings over time become parasites in the relationship. Discussing your true feelings and sharing your thoughts with your partner will help bridge or close the communication gap. No relationship can go well without a meaningful conversation. If the conversation is ambiguous, it can weaken the relationship over time.

Even the pretense of deep communication can turn the relationship into a love-hate relationship very quickly. It would be best if you always try to have mature conversations to reduce your chances of getting into a love-hate relationship.

8. Overwhelming Negative Emotions

 Love hate relationship

Even if both partners lack a strong emotional connection, even small arguments can cause important issues. You can keep fighting every day and will never find a possible solution to any of your problems. Constant conflict can eventually tire both of you to the point where you want to avoid discussing issues altogether. If continued, this attitude can develop deep-seated dissatisfaction between both partners. Hauling unsolved problems in the form of luggage will constantly lower your energy, eventually turning into a ticking time bomb. Accepting your feelings is the best way to deal with this problem. If a deep shock from the past or present is bothering you, talk to your partner about this. Let go of emotional stress among themselves to strengthen your connection.

9. Ego-centric Decisions

 Love hate relationship

A clear sign of a love-hate relationship is when both partners make decisions that only serve their personal egos. When partners are upset, they take things personally and may feel that their ego is being targeted by their significant other. This happens because partners do not share any solid relationship among themselves. They lack empathy and compassion for each other, which causes fights to intensify. Making selfish decisions will only increase the sourness in relationships. Neglecting each other’s feelings regardless of your boyfriend’s feelings or desires will make them feel unwanted.

10. Being Melodramatic

 Love hate relationship

Drama is a common thing in love-hate relationships. When couples have small disagreements, they can exaggerate it and involve their friends and family in this matter. They try to sympathize by posting emotional things on social media or opening secrets or hurting each other’s reputation. Instead of solving the problem like adults, they do things that make their partner angry.

Being direct and honest with your partner about issues is the best way to deal with them. Talking about them with people instead of discussing issues shows that something is wrong with your relationship. To address this problem, prioritizing effective communication is important. This will also help strengthen the relationship.

11. Transactional Attitude 

 Love hate relationship

Many couples in a relationship of hate and love develop a transactional attitude towards each other. This means that they either start showing things they have ever done for their partner or help their partner achieve something in return. Sometimes, some people boast about what they have done for their partner, even when their partner is right in front of them. In such a relationship, both partners try to compensate each other for favors. They can also keep track of things or money invested in their partner. This type of behavior suggests that they may be fulfilling their duties rather than acting out of love. Such an attitude indicates a lack of emotional maturity and can make the relationship feel insecure and insecure. It is important for both partners to work on creating a deep emotional bond.

How to Fix a Love Hate Relationship?

 Love hate relationship
  • Sort Your Emotions Actively

Sort Your Emotions Actively

The best way to deal with such a relationship is to analyze your feelings. Instead of simply accepting your partner’s behavior, try to break down your reactions and feelings. Try to analyze why you react negatively to them. Find out where exactly your problem is. Take time to evaluate and process your emotions so you can find solutions to your problems.

  • Establish Healthy Boundaries

Establish Healthy Boundaries

Take time to thoroughly check your personal boundaries to determine where their violation is occurring. Once the problem is identified, you can take appropriate steps to reduce the chance of it recurring in the future. Gaining control of your emotions in your relationship involves establishing healthy boundaries, and respecting your partner’s personal space is also important.

  • Seek Help

Seek Help

 Love hate relationship

If this relationship makes you feel lonely, contact close family members, relatives, friends, therapists, or someone you trust. When no one is available to talk, the best path to action can be difficult to figure out. Sometimes, you are not aware of or completely ignore how the relationship is affecting you because you are too close to your partner. Therefore, it is very important to seek help from people near and dear to you. They can give you a new perspective and help you deal with your feelings and problems.


A breakup is not always the answer when things are not going well in a relationship. Instead, try taking small steps to improve things, such as helping your partner with something and checking your behavior to see if you can make any changes. Once you make these changes, you can adjust your relationship goals to see if things have improved.


A love-hate relationship is more likely to confuse the couple’s feelings as well as the ability to face and handle the situation. Try to be a little more aware of your feelings and evaluate your relationship by detecting the above signs. However, you need to understand that every relationship is different, and not every couple encounters or suffers all of the above signs. Actively take cues from your partner’s behavior and only then will you be able to reach a solid and stable conclusion.

The question here is what to do if you find yourself trapped in this vicious circle of love-hate. While the answer is subjective, your primary goal should be to break the toxic cycle. Obviously, it is not easy but it certainly deserves effort. If you find yourself trapped in the psychology of a love-hate relationship, the above tips can help you manage your relationship.


All-Image Credit-pixabay


Can a love-hate relationship work?

It is possible for a love-hate relationship to work, but it requires a lot of effort and willingness from both parties to work through the conflicting emotions and behaviors. Communication, setting boundaries, seeking therapy, and prioritizing self-care are all important steps towards building a healthier and more sustainable relationship. Ultimately, whether a love-hate relationship can work or not depends on the specific dynamics and willingness of the individuals involved.

Is a love-hate relationship healthy?

No, a love-hate relationship is generally considered unhealthy due to the conflicting emotions and toxic patterns that often arise, such as verbal or physical abuse, manipulation, and a lack of respect for boundaries.

How do you deal with a love/hate relationship?

Dealing with a love-hate relationship involves recognizing the toxic patterns, seeking professional help if needed, setting clear boundaries, improving communication and conflict resolution skills, and prioritizing self-care and self-love. It may also be necessary to consider ending the relationship if it is consistently harmful.

How do I let go of built-up resentment in my relationship?

Letting go of built-up resentment in a relationship involves acknowledging and expressing the feelings, working on forgiveness, setting healthy boundaries, and seeking therapy if needed. It’s important to prioritize communication, empathy, and self-care while letting go of past hurt and moving towards a healthier future.

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