Marriage, or any long-term relationship, is like the ultimate team sport, isn’t it? It’s not just you anymore, it’s you and your life you’re building together, and you both have to have the same goals in mind or you’re playing a losing game very quickly. There are many things that strong, healthy relationships have in common, but the most important is maintaining a strong connection with each other.

If you need a little connectivity boost, consider these 10 ways to build and maintain connection in a relationship.

Couples that play together, stay together! Not only does research show that a playful relationship provides higher self-reports of relationship satisfaction and feelings of closeness, but being playful has many other great side effects, such as stress relief. Being playful can be as simple as rehashing some old inside jokes and joking with each other while setting the table for dinner, or setting up a regular game night for yourselves. Purposeful play is a simple (and fun!) way to connect with your person.


Know the love language of your love
Are you familiar with the concept of love language? Learning how your partner gives and receives love is a great way to maintain connection in a relationship.

If your significant other’s primary love language is, for example, words of affirmation, and acts of service for you, they may not always feel as loved as you might expect when pouring their morning coffee. . Show your love for them through thoughtful gestures, like this, but also with some thoughtful verbal statements that show your love for them can go a long way in keeping the feelings of connection strong between the two of you.

Regular date nights are an important way to stay connected to your person. The good news is that it doesn’t require extravagant plans or a fancy, formal dinner because the most important part of a good date night is deliberate attention; This is what maintains the connection in the relationship.

Yes, there’s some evidence that more interesting, novel date night ideas “increase intimacy” than standard dinner and movie dates, but the most important elements of a good date night are purposeful togetherness and enjoyment. each other’s company. The best date night will be one that suits both of you as a couple; If you’re in need of inspiration, there are so many great date night ideas to choose from!

fighting fair
Conflict is normal in any long-term, committed relationship, and it doesn’t have to mean cutting the disconnect if you use some fair-conflict guidelines. Work through conflict together (remember, you’re on the same team!) by focusing on the specific conflict and avoiding any personal attacks that shut down open communication.

For some couples, email or texting can be helpful because it can slow down emotionally charged, rapid-fire flare-ups and give each person more time to figure out what’s going on, rather than in the heat of big feelings. Is. And measured reactions – the drama of the moment from a person with a big emotional drama, believe me, it can really help!

cherish the moments
It can be easy to get caught up in big gestures and big life events like anniversaries and the birth of a new baby, but these are the moments when the bond in a relationship becomes stronger or weaker. It’s the little things, like picking up a favorite snack as a surprise treat on the way home or sending a sweet text in the middle of the day to let your significant other know they’re on your mind.

Make a concerted effort to put socks in the hamper, not just next to the hamper, or pay attention to how often you actually say a certain phrase that, for some reason, bothers your partner! We create our best selves, our best lives, and our best relationships, one moment at a time, so we must cherish these moments wisely.


couple hugging on the bed

The only constant in life is changing; As the world around us changes, so do people. As they grow up and move on in life, so will the relationships people are in. Strong partnerships grow together, grow, change, and grow individually and as a couple.

You and your significant other should be celebrating because both of you are the best of yourselves. You can also take workshops, courses, boot camps, etc. together if you both are interested in the same thing but whatever you do, don’t belittle her desire to improve herself. Evolution is a good thing! Healthy and happy couples appreciate each other’s growth journey and stay connected by supporting each other.


It’s easy to get stuck in a rut where we’re doing the same song and dancing with our sensual love every day. Maybe it’s a quick kiss on the way out the door to work every morning, then a quick peck on the cheek when the two of you return, but as these actions become automatic, they lose their original oomph. Let’s lose Lose it, won’t you?

A little extra physical affection can go a long way, with couples who touch each other more often reporting higher relationship satisfaction than couples who don’t. Go out of your way to find little moments to express your love physically; Just a quick back rub or hug is enough to release the so-called love hormone oxytocin and increase feelings of connection, so get those happy hormones started already!


Making a conscious effort to freshen things up in a long-term relationship can pay off big. As comfortable as it is to have the security of a committed partnership where you know you can always count on your person, it can also be a little too predictable, a little too structured, and a little too boring!

Make your marriage fun by sharing something new, whether it’s crossing some bucket-list-type things off the list together or introducing some new experiences in the bedroom; Sharing new experiences is a great way to stay connected in a relationship.


Portrait of happy young couple having fun on their hiking trip, sliding down the mountain trail. Caucasian hiker couple

Traveling together is a great way to bond with your spouse! Not only does it put the two of you in a scenario where it’s “the two of you against the world,” but you’re sharing new experiences and actively creating new memories together for a healthier, happier long term. Two very important keyword relationships.

It’s great to remember what a great team you make and going on an adventure together is the perfect prompt to switch to team mode. Plus, couples who travel together tend to have better sex lives… that’s not a bad side effect either!

practice preventive maintenance

Just as you need to regularly change the oil and rotate the tires on your car to keep it in tip-top shape, you need regular attention to your marriage. Check-in with your partner often with relationship check-ins to make sure there aren’t any potential problems lurking beneath the surface.

Attending couples therapy and marriage retreats are also great ways to maintain the health and strength of your union. You don’t have to wait until the wheels come off to take a closer look at your relationship and partnership with your spouse.

There will be many changes over the course of a marriage, but as long as you and your work – the very meaningful work of being together – is engaged, you can weather almost any storm… together.

Leave a Comment